Cross-dressing, Floats, and Possible Alcohol Poisoning

So what celebration allows usually homophobic men to get trashed while strutting around the streets of a town in short skirts and dresses? Give up? It's the Convite! (-Insert sarcastic hoot of joy here-)

Okay, I'll begrudgingly admit that it is a little more than that. 

At the essence of the holiday, a town celebrates their  Patron Saint with a town-wide parade, a dance, and lots of other activities.

Sara and I decided to watch the main event, the town parade, from my roof with a wide-array of snacks and mugs filled to the brim with tea. And while we were the only ones who chose to watch from above, I have to say, we had the best seats in the house.

Here we begin with men making fun of the same ol' Mother in Law/Suegra trope (really, again?)

Apparently we were also a part of that Antonio Banderas movie, 'Once Upon a Time in Mexico'

The Cast of Harry Potter showed up with pretty cute costumes!

And finally the Homoeroticism/Bro-Love was out of control, but it's okay... they were drunk so it doesn't count (sarcasm).

So it wasn't too bad. Although I was biting my tongue the whole time during the drunk homoeroticism, I did have fun watching the dances, floats, and costumes. Well done. Just next year, can we stop with the mockery towards women (including, and I joke you not, Rigoberta Menchu). Thanks.

To Market, To Market

For NY,  it is gallery openings and fashion shows. For LA: sushi bar reveals and movie premieres. And for Guatemala (my town in particular), it is market day.

Yes, these are social events where you go to see and be seen--- and sometimes, even allowing you some time to conveniently pick up your weekly grocery list!

Sunday and Tuesday market days are the social events of the week in my town. Vendors sell their best batches of fragrant produce, while townsfolk walk through the mercado lugging their costales (colorful, plastic bags) over their finest clothing.

Nothing better than fresh produce!

These are the days to catch up with friends and loved ones who live across town, snag a bit of town gossip, and even make new friends---friends who sometimes have the power to save you a Q or two.

Sara and I are now seen as a sort of Gringa Power Duo. We walk through the market in perfect unison---creating a whirlwind effect that can only be compared to seeing Kali, the Hindu Goddess, stretching her four arms across the market, purchasing wisely and with swift precision.

If time is on our side, we begin our journey with a cup of atole (deliciously made by one of the members of Sara's women's group) in the 'inside market' and then slowly make our way out to the veggies, fruits, and finally the grain section---exercising our 'haggling muscle' with every stop.

Sometimes though, our route and even our grocery lists go out the figurative window when something catches our eyes. For me, that usually means fresh lychee (which, yes, is apparently grown here in Guatemala) and for Sara, it is a fresh basketful of berries.

But no matter the route and no matter how late we are to the party, we make an appearance. Because, let's face it, if you can't show off your new MegaPaca (Guatemalan thrift store chain) shoes while hauling around three pineapples, a pound of onions, and a bushel of broccoli, then, what is the point! Oh, and maybe it doesn't hurt that you have two opportunities a week to cement crucial connections in town via a hug or a quick hello. Yeah, that too!

A Little Advice for Future PCVs

This is a little advice for future generations of PCVs in order to avoid screwing over the people who will either be working after you or with your counterparts:

1. Don't sleep with a work-partner/counterpart
2. Don't party with a work-partner/counterpart 
3. Don't take your job lightly
4. Do your FUCKING job

Now these four suggestions come after a pretty horrific work meeting Abra and I had a few days ago with a few gentlemen who will remain nameless.

From the first minute we were in the room with Señor Big Creeper and Licenciado Bad Mouth (Clue: These are made up names) there was enough sexual harassment going on that a boss in the U.S. would immediately file a harassment suit for us. And before anyone starts blaming, I was still depressed over my dog (heck, my eyes were still red) and Abra was still being supportive... so there is no possible way to be sending mixed signals to these men who we would have to work with over the next two years.

After more body-on-body-touching attempts and a slew of weird sexual compliments, then came the comparisons:

"Pcv Hoo-Hah was really nice and went out on a date with us (there was even a few mentions of PCV Hoo-Hahs chest in this conversation)"

" Pcv Boing-Boing takes longer in the schools and accepts everything we give, even alcohol"

Etcetera... 

I completely understand if you just want to be seen as one of them, want to build rapport in an easy manner, want some local booty or even want to accept free things, but honestly, you are screwing it up for the rest of us who are truly here to do a job. We are professionals and want to be treated as such-- not like women who drop their panties for a shot of tequila. No I don't want to drink at 7 am and no I don't want to sleep with you because you would be something I would want to experience.

And for the record, I can understand spanish and did understand your backhanded comments when we refused you... along with those lewd comments you shot at us from the front seat of the car. And we still don't want to sleep with you. But see you in a month for the next workshop, okay! Oh and please remember to keep your penis in your pants, kthnxbye!

Sexual Repression & An Overly Stimulated Population

Do you know what happens to people when they are told sex is wrong/sinful/only to happen when married while being simultaneously stimulated by provocative imagery at every turn? 
Tension.

Churches, camioneta preachers, (some) host families and even the newspapers go on and on about the 'sinful' nature of sexual freedom--even going as far as mentioning some levels of hell that would make Dante cringe.

But looking past the proselytizing, you see the harsh reaction to such a conservative society. Every day, one can pass an energy drink poster featuring half naked women which jokes about the need for stamina during a threesome, television commercials zooming in on women's breasts/crotches/butts while discussing something as mundane as insurance, and even a section in the local daily newspaper which is blatantly emulating Playboy's Playmate spread.

This harsh crash between the national moral compass and sexual stimuli can be the only thing to explain the constant slut-shaming (Definition: Also known as slut-bashing/victim-blaming, is the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feeling and/or acting on sexual feelings) in newspapers and the communities themselves, the harsh piropos (loosely translated as a flirtatious remarks) and large number of sexual assaults/crimes against women every year.

There has to be a correlation there.

And I'm sure that it doesn't help that the machista culture panders towards the male gaze while still severely shaming women into the 'virginity or eternal singledom' paradigm.

Who knows if things will ever change for the better in Guatemala, but this girl is sick of being harassed for wearing a skirt, a white shirt, or even donning makeup. So enough, men of Guatemala, I'm done being this pretty thing you can objectify. Next time you say something that can be clearly defined as harassment, there'll be a stiff finger in your face and harsh words in perfect spanish.

Independence, Anniversaries and An Intact Ear Drum

Happy Fourth of July

AND

Happy Anniversary to The Parentals

Seeing as I'm still slightly deaf (since the 'quick fix' would be drilling a hole through my ear drum and you better bet I rejected that idea), I decided to partake in just a small portion of the Peace Corps Fourth of July festivities.

Below are a few photos of the actual Fourth of July Party that took place this week which had at least a couple hundred volunteers in attendance.

And to all my sistren and brethren back in the States, hope you had some great times.

Enjoy.

Introductions are In Order...

Hello world. This is 'Frijolita' (yes, her name is derived from the spanish word for bean...don't judge). A lovely gift from a host family (not my own) with whom I became attached to during training!

Frijolita is a three month old kitten who enjoys to run around my room, climb on my mountainous suitcase pile and attack anything that isn't tied down (wait, correction she attacks everything in my room).

Although she was afraid of me at first (probably because of the traumatic camioneta ride into my town in which she was travelling in a box which was then stuffed into my bag), she is slowly adjusting. She now associates me as something 'important' in her tiny life--- heck, she preemptively whines and meows when I put my shoes on because she knows that means I'm leaving.

Though we have only had one tiff-- the time she thought my earphones were a chew toy (RIP earphones)-- I am over the moon with how quickly we're bonding and how quickly she is learning new things.

Holidays, Linda Blair, and A Darwin Award

Here's the thing about Guatemala that I have been loving lately: los dias feriados (holidays). You know why? And no, it's not because we theoretically take a day off (because we really don't). Really, it's because you think you're in for one thing and you come out with a completely different perspective on whatever is being celebrated. Let's take Mother's Day for example (Happy Mother's Day, Mom!).


Abra and I were invited to a Mother's Day celebration after work today and let me tell you that it was... interesting. Sure there was the typical singing, dancing, and joking around but there were also a few surprises. A forty-five minute dramatization about why abortion is wrong (featuring appearances by an angel and a devil to drive the message home), a competition for some mothers to peel and eat a banana without their hands (hello, Freud), and prize giveaways--including one for the youngest mother in the audience (seriously?).

Most of the time, I was holding my sides and stiffling my laugh fits as I saw the ridiculous actos that were happening in the municipal hall---many of which were due to the fact that the men put together the event (Uhum, the banana eating contest is like a big neon sign screaming: Men obviously put this thing together). But there were also some genuine moments, including the fact that we got to bond with the school that invited us! Woo, confianza!

And speaking of bonding time, my toilet and I have become best friends forever. And I'm not talking about middle school charm bracelet and matching side pony-tail BFFs. I'm talking about blood-brothers-your-DNA-in-a-vile-Angelina-Jolie-and-Billy-Bob-Thornton-circa-late-90s-early-00s BFFs.

Here's the skinny... I've been metaphorically dying a slow and painful death for about five weeks, a la Linda Blair in the Exorcist (you know the scene). I scared the nurses into thinking I possibly had Malaria or Dengue and was sent to take some tests. Tests came back inconclusive (being me, I was not surprised) and so, I (being the MENSA genius that I am) decided to ignore my symptoms and go on as usual. Of course, this didn't work and I proceeded to fall deathly ill again.

Currently, I'm feeling alright. Having only eaten 'soft foods' and hydrating myself like crazy, I feel like I'm doing better. Although the results of the last tests show that it's just a bacterial infection, the fact that I'm not getting meds and that this has been happening for more than a month has me a little suspicious. We'll see. The positive is that I had been streaming Lost, Glee, and Nurse Jackie while I was sick... so I'm all caught up ya'll (and yes, you would be accurate to judge the fact that I don't have any furniture in my room, but I do splurge on internet).

You know what else happened when I was sick? I screwed up half my clothes. You know how? By forgetting that while I was dying in the toilet, I had soaked my dark clothing in a huge costal filled with soapy water that morning. And you know what happens to moist clothes that has been soaking for three days in that akward corner of your room that hardly gets any light? Mold. So for this week, I award myself a Darwin Award; for the most creative way of offing my too large to fit clothes while creating the most horrific stench in my tiny room.Way to go, me.

The Lowdown on Healthy Schools

Don´t remember if I mentioned the fact that Leah and I made a short movie about our Peace Corps program. But if I didn´t, we did end up making a short little piece about Escuelas Saludables and the impact it has on Guatemala.

Check it out if you have time.

Escuelas Saludables: Peace Corps Guatemala from Linda Lopez on Vimeo.

Many Moons Ago...

Fijense que... (when someone uses this in Guatemala, you know an excuse is coming, so get ready) I have been very busy being an official Peace Corps Guatemala Volunteer and I haven't had time to 'tend' to the online world. So, sorry internetz.

But let's play a little game of 'catch-up' to keep you all in the loop, shall we:

• 45 trainees were officially sworn-in as VOLUNTEERS by the Deputy Chief of Mission on March 25th 2010 in Atigua, Guatemala; that is every single person who flew from Washington D.C. to Guatemala with me!
• I moved out of my training town (woo hoo) and am living in my own little, charming town. My town has an excellent mercado twice a week and has a reputation for having the 'friendliest people in Guatemala'. I swear. It even says it on my 'Welcome to [Insert name of town]' package.
• The week I moved out of my training town was Semana Santa or Holy Week (the biggest Guatemalan holiday). This holiday consists of reliving Jesus' suffering through Mass, Processions, Alfombras (rugs made out of flowers, saw dust, fruit), and acting out the Stations of the Cross. I participated in EVERY SINGLE ACTIVITY (*+100 Confianza points)
• As of right now, my large room consists of an inflatable bed, a tiny table, a stovetop and some stools creating a faux kitchen area to hold that stovetop.
• Volunteering has been a blast with my companera de trabajo! Although many sage volunteers of the past have advised to 'observe' in the first several months, Abra and I have been making meetings and travelling across our department! We're on a roll.
• While away from work, I visit friends in the community, help my site-mate with G.A.D. (Gender and Development) talleres and even try to explore my turf.

So far, I have to say (even despite the occasional 'lows'), life as a volunteer is a blast.

 

*P.S. Just so you know, I treat 'gaining confianza' as a video game. I give myself 'fake' confianza points whenever I successfully integrate into the community. Ex: Eat Iguana Soup---true story by the way--- (+50 Confianza points), Attend mass with host family (+25 Confianza points). It's more 'fun' that way.