Alec Baldwin, a Suave 4 Year Old, & Glitter in the Wackiest Places

You know, I'm not exactly sure when it happened but I am an Alec Baldwin fanatic. Sure, it could be thanks to the fact that Lauren (a fellow Healthy Schools volunteer) and I have been watching 30 Rock almost every time that we hang out or it may be due to the fact that shows like Lost had my full attention when I was back in the states. Personally, I'd like to believe it's the former.

But honestly, have you seen 30 Rock? Tina Fey's genius + Alec Baldwin's quick wit + a slew of pop culture references = comedy gold.  And even funnier than 30 Rock is the fact that one of the CTAs (Guatemalan version of a superintendant) who refuses to works with us, looks (somewhat) and acts like Alec Baldwin's character in the show. He's smug, refuses to do anything that he deems 'unnecessary' and thinks he's hilarious when he goes against the grain for fun (like being the only member at a meeting to reject a paid vacation--no joke, that happened this morning). Sure it might be a little irritating to have someone who ademantly refuses to work with you (for no real reason), but I can at least chuckle at the fact that he reminds me of Jack Donaghy (well, minus Baldwin's debonair charm).

And speaking of charm, what the heck is with the males in this country? I mean, I'm pretty sure Guatemala is not the flirting capital of the world, and yet every male toddler and octogenerian thinks he's suave. For example, while filling out some paperwork with a CTA and a Parvulos (equivalent to a pre-school/kindergarten) director (school principal) this week, a four year old student ran into the director's office, hugged all three of us, and then stopped in front of me and said, in somewhat of a whisper, 'My heart beat in summersaults when you walked through the door'. After a silent moment or two, I looked over at both the CTA and the director and shrugged my shoulders, what else could I do? A kid who, not too long ago, had been living in his mother's amniotic fluid was gushing over me with a cheesy line he had probably heard his brother, father or grandfather spew. And soon after the pregnant pause, he was off chasing the other boys while he was pretending to be a monster.

Though this little incident might seem isolated, let me give you another one that happened the day after (yesterday). My work partner, Abra, and I were actually giving our first taller (training session) to a school in one of the municipalities we oversee. Overall, the taller went great! We had an enthusiastic director who even got into an impromptu costume while he was volunteering during one of our dynamicas, had teachers who really gave their all throughout the presentation (taking notes, participating, and even going above and beyond what was needed of them), and Abra and I just kicked butt. The hitch came when we split the teachers up and gave them an opportunity to show us how they can teach health lessons using non-traditional learning techniques. Well, most of the groups did well... and in all seriousness, two groups went above and beyond creating powerpoints and even an elaborate skit within the fifteen minutes we had given them. The last group however took a weird turn.

Their topic = water sanitation. At first, they began with reasons why their natural spring was adequate enough to drink from, though they ackowledged the health risks involved. Then, they proceeded to skip over the whole topic and create a 'game'. What was this game, you ask. Well let me share it with you. In this 'game', the teachers and the PC Volunteers (Abra & I) were put in a circle of desks with two people left standing up. Every time the 'proctor' yelled 'Salud' you had to move up three chairs and everytime the 'proctor' yelled 'Bacteria' you had to find the closest seat (think of a complicated version of musical chairs). Anyways, so the game began as such and soon people (who I'm assuming were clued into the real rules) began pushing the rest of us around to get to chairs. And then after the first 'Bacteria', I realized why... the male & female left outside of the circle were going to kiss as punishment for not making it to a bacteria-free chair. Yes, you read that correctly. You are going to kiss the person of the opposite sex who was also standing out there without a chair. And guess who got stuck outside of the chairs on the second round... yeah, me. And I'm pretty sure the whole point of the game was to get a gringa to kiss a chapin because soon after I was left standing with the young computer teacher, they all joked about how it was every Guatemalan's dream and then ended the game. RIDICULOUS.

Almost as ridiculous as the fact that the glitter that Abra and I have been using during talleres and meetings (it's a complete hit as a way to show how bacteria/diseases spread via person to person) has been showing up in the most random places... including the toilet. How did it get there, who knows. That's a topic for a different blog post.
Image from: Variety.com

The Lowdown on Healthy Schools

Don´t remember if I mentioned the fact that Leah and I made a short movie about our Peace Corps program. But if I didn´t, we did end up making a short little piece about Escuelas Saludables and the impact it has on Guatemala.

Check it out if you have time.

Escuelas Saludables: Peace Corps Guatemala from Linda Lopez on Vimeo.

Many Moons Ago...

Fijense que... (when someone uses this in Guatemala, you know an excuse is coming, so get ready) I have been very busy being an official Peace Corps Guatemala Volunteer and I haven't had time to 'tend' to the online world. So, sorry internetz.

But let's play a little game of 'catch-up' to keep you all in the loop, shall we:

• 45 trainees were officially sworn-in as VOLUNTEERS by the Deputy Chief of Mission on March 25th 2010 in Atigua, Guatemala; that is every single person who flew from Washington D.C. to Guatemala with me!
• I moved out of my training town (woo hoo) and am living in my own little, charming town. My town has an excellent mercado twice a week and has a reputation for having the 'friendliest people in Guatemala'. I swear. It even says it on my 'Welcome to [Insert name of town]' package.
• The week I moved out of my training town was Semana Santa or Holy Week (the biggest Guatemalan holiday). This holiday consists of reliving Jesus' suffering through Mass, Processions, Alfombras (rugs made out of flowers, saw dust, fruit), and acting out the Stations of the Cross. I participated in EVERY SINGLE ACTIVITY (*+100 Confianza points)
• As of right now, my large room consists of an inflatable bed, a tiny table, a stovetop and some stools creating a faux kitchen area to hold that stovetop.
• Volunteering has been a blast with my companera de trabajo! Although many sage volunteers of the past have advised to 'observe' in the first several months, Abra and I have been making meetings and travelling across our department! We're on a roll.
• While away from work, I visit friends in the community, help my site-mate with G.A.D. (Gender and Development) talleres and even try to explore my turf.

So far, I have to say (even despite the occasional 'lows'), life as a volunteer is a blast.

 

*P.S. Just so you know, I treat 'gaining confianza' as a video game. I give myself 'fake' confianza points whenever I successfully integrate into the community. Ex: Eat Iguana Soup---true story by the way--- (+50 Confianza points), Attend mass with host family (+25 Confianza points). It's more 'fun' that way.

Guate & the F-Word

Before some people get their panties in a twist (uhum Peace Corps I know you're monitoring), this isn't a post about that F-Word.

Instead, it's about feminism. And since March 8th (this past Monday) was the 99th International Women's Day, I thought what a better time to discuss feminism than now.

Before I delve into the topic at hand though, let's discuss Guatemala  for a little bit.
And to start off, let's play a game... a word association game. So, if I could only use one word to describe Guatemalan culture, what would it be? Hmmm, oh yeah: machista.

Don't believe me? Well here are some stats to back up the machismo (which were brought to our attention during one of our weekly training sessions, sorry I didn't get the actual source... pretty sure my jaw hit the floor when I saw this and completely forgot to cite!).
Without further ado, Guatemalan gender issues in convenient 'percentage form':

• 30% of Guatemalan women surveyed think it is acceptable to be spoken to innappropriately
• 70% of Guatemalans surveyed agree women should remain in the home
• 54% of Guatemalan women surveyed agree to be submissive/docile to men
• 53% of Guatemalans surveyed agree that men determine # of children in family
• 60% of Guatemalans surveyed think that men are the economic decision makers
• And finally 4/10 Guatemalan females surveyed think men are the superior gender

I'm not sure about you, but these stats are frightening--especially when you see the effects of machismo in everyday life.

For example, being a proud feminist, I decided to decorate my netbook with a 'Feminism is for Lovers' sticker; nothing fancy, just a plain sticker with a strong message on it. One night, after my host family came in contact with the sticker, they decided to sit me down for dinner and 'scare me' with a wonderful (read: disturbing) bed time story (which I will paraphrase/embellish below).

There was once a strong, feminist in town who would fight for women's rights with her fog horn and picket sign. Day in and day out, she would rile up the women to stand up for their rights and rebel against the machismo in their homes and communities; singing songs that would make Rosie the Riveter and Margaret Sanger jump for joy. Well, one day the feminist took a little longer than expected to come home from a rally, but instead of being welcomed by her husband, she was brutally beaten while her ten year old son watched. As she cried for help, all the other 'smarter' women in town laughed their tushes off because the feminist should have known that it is a woman's job to please the husband first rather than go off galavanting and looking for trouble. The next day, the feminist appeared bruised and fragile, without her picket sign or her fog horn, because she had finally learned that her husband and son come first.

Yeah, these are the wonderful tales I was told after dinner; and let me remind you, this was all because of a sticker!

And these real stories (which come up alot) that are supposed to teach women their role in life don't even scratch the muggy, machista surface. In fact, the place you see machismo the most is on the street.

From the moment a woman (no matter the age) steps on the street, wearing anything from greasy sweatpants to t-shirt/jeans, it begins. A slew of suggestive comments shush chuch noises, whistling and general cat-calling from males ranging from 10 to 60 years old. Yeah you heard me, it can be anyone from a ten year old boy (who hasn't even felt the pangs of puberty) to a wrinkled, liver-spotted older gentleman of sixty.

Most of the time, I can deal with the general nuissance, but there are times when things so vile come out of these mouths that I just want to jump off the highest (5 ft, joke) building! I've only had to deal with this for three months and yet I look at Guatemalan women who have dealt with this their whole lives and ask, How do they do it?

While most of the population seems to be sticking to status quo, I have already seen amazing men and women trying to bring in different notions into culture through Women's groups and other organizations. In the future, in fact, I hope to partner up with my site-mate and give self-defense classes (as a secondary project) to women in our area. Who knows if it will be well received, but with the success of some of the other experimental organizations and notions, maybe we too can make a difference here.

Character Profile: The Ex-Pandillero Who Has Turned a New Leaf

[Note: I feel, given my liberal arts background, I will sometimes have 'character profiles' featuring certain memorable folks around Guatemala. It's honestly a way to share my admiration (as a 'writer') for such great characters. Enjoy]

Oh no, he has a tattoo was something that both my camioneta companion, Leah, and I said as we saw him standing front and center, blocking any escape to the outside world with a stern look on his face.

Note: Sure, in the States, a tatoo is not a big deal--maybe it is a meaningful memento of times past or just a mistake you made when you were 18, but no one really pays any attention to your body art. Here in Guatemala, it's bad juju. It means you've been places (read: jail) and know people (read: know people will fear you).

The man who was now facing the whole camioneta was donned not only in tattoos, but scars-- wearing black from head to toe and carrying a box in his frightingly muscular arms.

Attention to everyone on the bus, he began as both Leah and I looked at each other ready to not only pee our pants in fear, but to give up all our valuables which we had cleverly hidden away in our bras, shoes, pants, and purses.

I could rob you this very moment and get away with it. I've been to jail, I've killed people, I've done it all and can do it again, he continued as I cursed my luck, wishing we hadn't waited an extra minute for a bus that didn't have limbs flying out of every open window and door.

...but I won't. At this point, everyone who had started creating a mental breakdown of their valuables (myself included), proceeds to ignore the guy and his lanky sidekick (who managed to copy his buddy by blocking the back exit of the camioneta --like two identical bookends holding everyone in the middle together).

THIS.DID.NOT.PLEASE.HIM.
It was as if his words had turned off the invisible lightbulbs of fear hanging above all the passengers and things turned.

Pay attention to me, he yelled as he banged the roof of the bus, possibly mimicking something he had done in the past (but instead of a pistol, there were rock hard chocolate bars which magically didn't break with the force).

I can see all of you looking out your window and pretending that you cannot understand me, but remember that I have the power. I'm giving you the option to buy my chocolate bars in order to avoid something else. Interesting. It's like we have a choice... right? Not. By this point, people were sneakily pulling out their quetzales in order to buy the chocolate and get these guys off the bus (I mean, even the bus attendant was so freaked out that he waited until both men were seated before collecting the bus fare AND he preferred to scale the outside of the bus back to the front rather than passing the guys in the middle once he was done).

Five stops later, we were at our stop and out the door. The two 'warm-hearted' ex-cons were still sitting, like two troublesome kids in the back of a classroom, assessing the damage. Who knows where they were going or which bus they were going to hit next, but so far, this duo was beyond interesting (and not to mention frightening).